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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.

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I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?

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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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You can't define love, but love can define you.

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.

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I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.

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I swear to drunk I'm not god.

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Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.

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WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.