Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
