Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
You're only as good as your last game.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Take it easy, give it hard.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
