Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
