The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...