I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Winners do what other people won't.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
