The last thing I want to do is die.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Everybody is a student for life.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
It's weird not to be weird.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
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