My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.