You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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