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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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You do not learn anything by doing everything right.

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

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Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.

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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.

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Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.

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Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.