The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
© 2017 EpicQuotes |