Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
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