It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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