A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'