Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
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