My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |