Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
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