Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Winners do what other people won't.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.