Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
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