When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Perception is everything.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
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