You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
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