Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
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