Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
© 2016 EpicQuotes |