Immaturity keeps me young.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
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