Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
Fall in love with my mind.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
© 2017 EpicQuotes |