I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
