Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
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