Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
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