Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Always remember to smile.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.