If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
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