He who laughs last didn't get it.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Be positive for no reason.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
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