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We put the "us" in trust, baby.

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Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.

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Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.

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Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.

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Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.

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Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.

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Cool story bro, changed my life.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.

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You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.