Always remember to smile.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.