Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
The last thing I want to do is die.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Perception is everything.
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