The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
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