Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
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