When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Winners do what other people won't.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.