True friends stab you in the front!
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
© 2016 EpicQuotes |