What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.