That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
True friends stab you in the front!
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
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