Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
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