I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?