You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
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