Fall in love with my mind.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
