If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Everybody spread positivity.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
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