I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
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