Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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