If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
You can't define love, but love can define you.
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