I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
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