I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
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