I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
