The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
