I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
True friends stab you in the front!
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
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