Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Immaturity keeps me young.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Trust in God but lock your car.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
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