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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?

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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.

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If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?