Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
