Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Always remember to smile.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
