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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Don't judge a book by its movie.

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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.