You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
