If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Haters are just confused admirers.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
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