I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
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