Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
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