They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Winners do what other people won't.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
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