"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
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