Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
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