It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
You're only as good as your last game.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
