Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
True friends stab you in the front!
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
You live and you learn.
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