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Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Real eyes realize real lies.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Fall in love with my mind.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
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