The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
F that B.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
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