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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

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Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

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I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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You're never too old to learn something stupid.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.