Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
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