A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.