Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Perception is everything.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
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