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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.

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Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

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A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.

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I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.