Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
