What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
F that B.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Real eyes realize real lies.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.