You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
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