Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
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