Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
