24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
It's weird not to be weird.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
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