That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
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