Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?