Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
F that B.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Take it easy, give it hard.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
