Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
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