I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
