Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...