Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Real eyes realize real lies.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.