Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
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