When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
