Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
© 2015 EpicQuotes |