It's weird not to be weird.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.