Trust in God but lock your car.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
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