If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
F that B.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Haters make you famous.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
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