Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
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