People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
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