My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
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