Immaturity keeps me young.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
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