I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Always remember to smile.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
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