Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
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