This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
You live and you learn.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
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