I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.