The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |