We put the "us" in trust, baby.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
True friends stab you in the front!
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
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