Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Everybody spread positivity.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
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