A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
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