Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Always remember to smile.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.