Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
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