Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
F that B.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
