If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
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