Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Make money, don't let it make you.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
You're only as good as your last game.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
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