A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
© 2016 EpicQuotes |