Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Haters make you famous.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
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