Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
You're only as good as your last game.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
© 2017 EpicQuotes |