Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
The last thing I want to do is die.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
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