I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
© 2014 EpicQuotes |