I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
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