You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
© 2017 EpicQuotes |