The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
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