I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
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