Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
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