Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
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