Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
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