It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
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