Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
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