Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
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