If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
