Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
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