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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.

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Perception is everything.

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Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.

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What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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Everybody spread positivity.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.

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I put the laughter in manslaughter.

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That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.