The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
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