Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Winners do what other people won't.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
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