A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
True friends stab you in the front!
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
F that B.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
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