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Winners do what other people won't.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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Nice shoes! Wanna screw?

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In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?

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The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....

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Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.

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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.