Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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