Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
