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I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

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Wild hearts can't be broken.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.

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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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Maturity is knowing when to be immature.

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.

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I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.

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S_CCESS can't be complete without U.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.