If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
The last thing I want to do is die.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
