Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
F that B.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
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