Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
F that B.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
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