When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
