Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
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