Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
F that B.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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