Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
F that B.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
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