Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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