There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
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