When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
© 2015 EpicQuotes |