Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
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