Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
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