A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
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