Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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