Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
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