You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
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