The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
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