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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

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Born to be different, like everyone else.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.