I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Everybody spread positivity.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
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