Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
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