To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
True friends stab you in the front!
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