"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
