Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Take it easy, give it hard.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
