You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
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