I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
You live and you learn.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
