Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
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