Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Trust in God but lock your car.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
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