Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.