You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Take it easy, give it hard.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Real eyes realize real lies.
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