When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
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