Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.