Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
You live and you learn.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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