Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
© 2016 EpicQuotes |