Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Immaturity keeps me young.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
You're only as good as your last game.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
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