Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.