Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
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