I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
