Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
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