Wild hearts can't be broken.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
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