The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.