If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
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